Butterflies

I hate self promotion I hate self promotion I hate self promotion! I just sent out an e-mail telling people about Jan Warren's November world and it is making me VERY anxious. Of course the only other option is to not tell anyone and be miserable when there is a poor turn out at my exhibit opening November 3. This show is extremely important to me and I have been running on a very disciplined schedule to be sure it all comes together well.

The butterflies in my belly take me right back to elementary school stage fright. I loved singing with the chorus under Miss Harding's kind tutelage and I remember a concert assembly like it was yesterday. My friend Pam stood up next to me on one of those metal cafeteria chairs so everyone could hear and see her perform a solo. The song still can stick in my head from time to time. I thought she was wonderful but I had butterflies just being next to her! As much as I loved music I did figure out early on that if I had art up on the wall at school I could watch people look at it and hear what they said and never even be seen.

Well, the butterflies in my stomach mean this all is very important to me. Add in turning 50, which I am thrilled to be celebrating. I have always been a little obsessed with the Adirondack Trail and thought I would like to spend my 50th year hiking the entire thing. I committed to artwork instead and of course saw a little snippet in the paper today about a 50 year old woman who had to be rescued from the trail in New Hampshire after breaking her leg. I could just picture that rocky section of the trail and how cold it must be up there right now~ there is a possibility of snow here! Without a doubt I would rather have butterflies and art work than broken bones.

This past weekend I also had a great reminder about how quickly plans can change ~ like shifting winds or breaking a leg ~ so instead of marching in the Hooker Day parade or going to yoga class I got to spend time with Donna and Dad and fix the tractor exhaust to boot. The reminder? Family first. And be prepared. Any procrastination at this point in the game leaves me too vulnerable. If things are done ahead than I can absorb the occasional last minute detour. I am such a procrastinator by habit, staggering between perfectionism and worm tall self assessments. I really have to work to stay in middle ground.

The butterfly here shows every stage from caterpillar to chrysalis to spectacularly winged creature and sometimes I feel like I have to do those stages over and over again...but less now. At 50 it is a little easier to keep my wings intact. So, where are you going to be November 3rd? Did I mention I am having an art show...or three?

Flap flap flap FLAP goes the butterfly.

Damage control

After storm Irene blew through all six of us here on the farm cleaned up what we could of the storm. The days and days of power outage finally exhausted our cooler's abilities to preserve much from the refrigerator. Dad loaded up his generator on the trailer and drove it from Barb's house to their house then on to mine over and over and over. Barb and I each chose one appliance to run and we tried to be sure things were split up accordingly. I still have the top of their wedding cake in my freezer...the one appliance I tried to keep at a workable temperature. I haven't dared look.

I had bushels of garden stuff because I needed to strip the plants before the storm~ the biggest single day harvest of the year. Donna and I drove down to the grocery store to get what was needed to preserve all this fresh-picked bounty. As we got to the parking lot a torrential rain beat down on us. Irene was still 12-16 hours away from impacting us at all and we were already seeing flooding. Slowly the gravity of our situation dawned as we sat there in the car, knowing the already saturated ground would partner with the coming wind to create a disaster on a level we had never seen. Donna started up the engine and we slowly drove home without ever having entered the grocery store. I have to admit to stopping by the liquor store.

 I can't remember when exactly my Aunt Barbara came to my rescue. If she hadn't taken my harvest off my hands completely it would have all rotted along with the contents of the refrigerator. And she is such a love...Barbara has the same passion we do for the fresh picked. I knew nothing would go to waste. It wasn't much considering the disappointing growing season, but it was all we had and I couldn't bear to see it wasted.

24 hours before Irene made landfall

24 hours after

It took a while for the full extent of the damage to reveal itself. You could look into a stand of trees and  leaves from broken branches and fallen trees blended right in, as long as they were green. As days went by all the broken started to reveal itself. Nathan bought himself a chainsaw and all of us worked to clear the paths. As more and more limbs were piled to the sides we realized the log splitter needed to be revved up...but no luck getting it going. The heavy heavy snow brought rodents into engines and air filters to take shelter. It was impossible to get into the shed or under tarps to check on things with a 36 inch snowpack. The tropical storms came on the heels of our earthquake. I am not sure I was joking when I said to people locusts would be next.

I haven't written about it or posted photos because so many people were hurt worse than us. Agriculture in our area took a double hit as record snow reduced sheds, garages and barns to jumbled piles of tinder. It is still hard to look at the twisted carcasses of our neighbors greenhouses. One family we know simply packed it in: put their retail location up for sale and left the ruined greenhouses as testimony to powerlessness. And all of that was months before record September flooding wiped out millions in crops along the CT river and deeply inland.

A month and a half later and we can't get equipment across the bridge over the brook without becoming completely mired. We had 3 1/2" more rain here last week and expect another inch or so today. Like I said, so many people suffered losses that the insult to our household shouldn't be whined about. We slipped away to South Dennis on Cape Cod and had a fabulous week...then came home to a post-storm newly restocked refrigerator with an internal temperature of 80 degrees! Two days of research and comparison pricing led us to Lowe's and a solid price on fridges with newer features. Next day delivery was exactly as promised although I did not account for the baseboard trim or the cabinet being just 1/8" off plumb. For the first few days it hung out into the kitchen while I DARED it to fail. It took about a week to really feel we could invest in cold food again. For a while I tried to wrap my brain around the idea that the loss of the refrigerator guaranteed it would be a while before we purchase that second car.

2011 has been quite a ride for this family so far...unemployed, snowed in, Dad ill, married, dug out, re-employed, Dad better, sister married, rained out then to ice it soon I will be turning 50. Not bad. Not bad at all. I really am happier than I have ever been!

Time Travel?

I wonder more and more how time can pass so quickly. I seems like we just finished dealing with storms Irene and Lee from late August and early September and it is past mid October now! The morning glories are giving us one last big show until a hard frost does them in. The garden was almost hopeless this year because wet weather spread more kinds of plant fungus than I have ever seen and I certainly have come across mushrooms I am sure I haven't encountered before. Time did crawl to a stop at one point...all those days the power was out.

Garden nightmare: tomato fungus everywhere

 The fall garden wasn't worth photographing. It is just a big patch of dirt with a sprout or two of red lettuce and a sorrowful row of radishes that simply won't fill out. Once we pulled out the tomato plants the marigolds revealed their glory. My one good idea was to put those between the tomatoes. It kept it from looking completely like death.

It still does seem like the sky looks like this more often than not...and the one-two punch of Irene and Lee added a few permanent fixtures to our lives.

Sand bags and pick up sticks! Oh and we can't forget the must-have fashion item for October! Donna and I drove up to Tolland, MA to help my uncle out with his internet connection. I was going crazy trying to figure out what smelled so offensive in the car...then in the house...the scent was following me around. I was horrified to narrow the nauseating reak down to me, the only common denominator. Before I was revealed as the source of the odor  I tiptoed outside, double-bagged the shoes I was wearing and stashed them in the van to throw out when I got home. My shoes had simply not dried completely in several weeks and finally they were going to rot right at the end of my leg. L.L. Bean here we come. These wellies have been used EVERY SINGLE DAY since their purchase. I feel like I am going fishing instead of walking the dog...but at least my feet are finally dry!

Wow~ great month, good show!

I was grateful to fall into a one-woman show as artist-of-the-month at Aetna, here in Hartford CT. Lots of people in our geographical area have been employed by some big companies, but not me...so the whole place seems HUGE! I have come and gone through the loading dock a number of times and the conduit for cold drinking water has to have a 3 foot radius. But stuff is selling nicely and people there have been so great. I hadn't advertised two of the pieces anywhere else because they are so new...and now they are going to live with someone else! I couldn't be happier!

Morning Mayhem

I have no one to blame but myself. I have suddenly moved from garden maintenance straight into full harvest and I don't own any canning jars! I am pretty sure my mom will share her equipment, perhaps even pass it on. After 50 years of gardening and canning the folks are just about finished. But that doesn't mean there isn't commentary. Moments ago I heard my father's farm cart pull away from the front step...and there it was...

Drive by squashing

I took the pup out for our morning stroll yesterday and caught the man circling quietly about the compound. He warned me I had cucumbers to harvest. It seemed impossible. Perhaps there is one, I thought, but I was so very wrong. 10 more for our house and 7 for Mom. The father was not mistaken. I believe I have underestimated the capacity here.

Over the weekend Donna and I caught up to the garden...or tried to. It took a lawnmower and much hand weeding to get us back into shape after weeks of heat and no rain and other priorities. I was sure I had harvested well enough to skip a day. But no...we are to the point of daily harvest. At last!!! The moment I was anticipating since March! And how could I have been so unprepared?

I pictured how the days of August would be. I would roll out of bed ready to face the day. First, get Rosie out. Let her run around pretty well and then we would pitter patter around the garden selecting succulent veggies for a gourmet supper. The way I love it...breakfast from the tomato vine. Back to work in the studio all day and another walk before making dinner...cut through the garden gate and just brush against the tomato vines and the basil...pick some flowers for the table.

Okay. I know no one but me is surprised how different reality is. This is the actual way the day has gone:

Get up early to shower.

Take the dog out to pee before the trip to camp...doggy day care.

The dog won't pee. If she holds it maybe I won't leave.

I take her back inside.

I rifle through all my various bags for keys, grocery lists, coupons.

This is the activity that tipped off the dog of my imminent departure. 

Again!  I have allowed the cell phone to die without charging.

Borrow Donna's phone for the day.

Drive dog to camp.

Drive Donna to work because in order to be environmentally responsible AND avoid a car payment we have become a one car family.

Drop my darling off and head to Hartford.

The inevitable traffic.

I pick up my friend Cathleen and we head to Whole Foods to shop and have breakfast.

I find MORE than what I need at Whole Foods. A $9.99 vanilla bean? One bean? Really?

Cathleen and I sit down to eat and we can't have a conversation...

there is a raucous meeting of men behind us and we are both hard of hearing.

Load up groceries and head to a store that has a coupon and sale on frames.

Wander around calculating, finally putting some in the cart.

Helpfully pull things together for the cashier while I should have been searching for my credit card.

Watch the line become absurdly long for 9:00 a.m.

Give up the search. Pay cash.

Hit the bank for cash...not sure if the bank HAS cash after this week on Wall St..

As I drop Cathleen back at ArtSpace an alarm sounds.

In my car.

????Low fuel? I have never seen that giant orange square before...and did I mention the alarm?

Ha! I can beat those high gas prices with my Stop & Shop gas rewards!

Drive 10 miles to Stop & Shop gas station.

Wait a long time in line.

Get to the pump and find I do not have the new fancy purple card that gives the gas rewards.

And then there is the alarm...and the line.

Pump 5 gallons and called it a fill up.

Go to grocery store for items that were too pricey in Whole Foods,

stuff I need to put up crops from the garden.

Scan and bag my own groceries as I go and head to the self-check-out lane.

(In high school I got paid to check groceries)

Coupon dealy-doo keeps yelling "coupons full"

Does anyone else in the store find that

know-it-all talking witch of a cash register speaks very loud?

Live cashier helps but not without a subtle but unmistakable 

adults-are-SO-stupid eye roll.

The woman in the machine insists I slide a coupon into the slot...

A coupon that is in fact IN the slot.

The woman in the machine takes back my discount, only it seems she is more quiet with the stealing-my-money part.

Try to catch the eye of eye-roll girl.

Race out of the store and throw everything in the car...I have frozen stuff...gotta beat this sun...

Look for the receipt and realize in my haste I must have left it in the store.

Head back in...and slowly realize I do not have a receipt because

I LEFT WITHOUT PAYING!!!!!

Run faster, searching for cops or other authorities mobilizing.

Think about my defense...

Skulk into the check-out lane and find the woman in the machine has not stopped talking to me,

despite the fact I was long gone. This is now a good thing.

Finish and pay, retrieving the receipt that PROVES I saved $17 in coupons

and quietly exit the store.

As I am getting in the car I look at my "gas rewards" total.

They have started my gas rewards over again. 

I have no gas rewards.

Head home, unload groceries.

Look down and find frozen fruit pop melted 

in pink blotches all over my new white shirt.

Soak the shirt...

And here I am. I am not making art. I am not pickling cucumbers and making cucumber soup. I am not walking the dog or strolling through the garden. In fact I am actually paying someone else to wear the dog down. I haven't started dinner. When I am through here I think I will have spent a good chunk of my afternoon whining on a blog no one will ever read again if I DON"T MAKE SOME ART and get it up here. And in a little bit I will head out to pick up my sweet wife from work and my sweet dog from camp.

But life is good. My sweet dog is always glad to see me. My sweet wife never, ever says "whatever did you do with your day??!!" and she likes it when the three of us stroll through the garden together and she never minds when dinner is late and she is happy to help cook and still clean up. It could be so much worse....the woman in the register could have been my only friend today...but I had Cathleen and Jane and sunshine with lower humidity and rain for the garden last night.

Sure, I am behind in work and chores...but what good is growing stuff if I don't stop and drink it all in?

Installed at Aetna

There is a gallery space outside the cafeteria on Aetna's Hartford campus. Artists selected have a month to show their work and give a gallery talk at the end of that month. I took 23 pieces and hung 20 because that is how many cables there were to the hanging system~ a typical rail with hanging wires system.

Hopefully I can get some feedback about two new pieces I made in late July. I love mixed media and collage but I rarely include those pieces in shows. After the hydrangea-all-over-everything for Barb and Nate's wedding I was burnt and bored with plain old drawing. I made myself a challenge: new pieces that fit in a #10 envelope...you know, regular business size. I have a ton of odd envelopes hanging around, gluing themselves closed over time. The idea was to send thank you notes but...I liked one of the pieces too much to send away! 

There are a number of pieces in the Aetna gallery I have not shown before. August 21 I am participating in a plein air painting event at Valley Falls in Vernon. I haven't painted outside with anyone else in a while and I am wondering if I should get on my horse (so to speak) right now and join the Tolland County Artists' Association Tuesday Painters. They won't be too far from here and I can figure out if my approach to outdoor art will be too bizarre. The Valley Falls area is near and dear to my heart and I want to be sure to make something there that will sell~ a portion of the proceeds go to the Friends of Valley Falls.

All right. With just a few chances at a dry run with other painters I had best get my shy self over there. We will see how it goes...

And the summer flies~ literally!

I was ripping about yesterday, tearing from meetings to ta ta pick up to conservation commission. I left the car running for a second and flew inside for some paperwork and when I got back out waiting on my door handle was this dude...

 It should have been complete with the theme from the Jaws movie. All right, so I exaggerate a bit. The blue color was brilliant and this time of year you can observe all the colors of summer, from the flowers and fruits to the buggers that bugger them.

I can't remember a worse year for biting insects of all kinds. I am a great nature girl...every creature has a place and purpose...and then I am STUNG again!  Farm wide there have been plenty of wasp stings, hornet infestations and then the monster mosquito population. I even stumbled on an underground nest in the back of my compost pile. Well, I didn't stumble on it...I accidentally dug the top right off of it. Rosie and I lucked out on that one. I saw them before they saw me. What an exercise motivator...RUN!!!!!  

I need to get back to work but it proved to me one can find a motivation to use color in art in all of those moments. That blue iridescence on my blue door made it so clear. Observe and run...observe and run!