back to anger, chasing wildflowers

I have been editing pictures this day until I could not work any more, until I was in so much pain I couldn't bear my glasses on my face. My blogging intent today was to show off my father's wildflower photos. Their blooms will pass but the grasses will change colors as the trees do and there are gorgeous paths to travel. He sought out the rarest sites this time, a yellow patch of flowers that appeared last year but are even more prolific this year. He got close but after a photo or two he very carefully retreated from what may have been an underground yellow jacket nest. He and I both have had very many stings from that kind of encounter and there are chores we save until hard frost, when the risk has passed.

I couldn't resist throwing in the holly hock photo in and if I feel better soon I promise more photos, I will make acrylic paintings or pastel paintings of them. Our neighbors to the North, Fred and Helene, have a gorgeous cottage garden and the gate is loaded with hundreds of blooms of morning glory, and I intend to photograph them too. Fred shared with us some Rose of Sharon he nurtured from teeny tiny plants and they are doing well in all three yards. The cameras are always at the ready these days, both at the farmhouse and here, next door. Dad (Fa, as we call him) has answered my many questions, identifying mystery patches of different colors of wildflowers in new places.

I am back to anger because I loathe this process I am in. I planned the fixes my face and teeth need as carefully as I could, only imagining the three seperate days of the procedures would keep me from work, and to be realistic, a little more, especially in October. I did not plan for complications immediately, or the need for rest. I was thrown by not being able to eat much, making a desperate run to the store for ingredients that would make healthy shakes I could drink more easily. Tea and soup... yogurt and cottage cheese. Donna was very creative with those over the weekend but I must admit I didn't even try to eat when she was at work.

Desperate, I called the dentist Saturday, through his answering service, and he suggested the complication was allergy. It was humiliating to call Fred and Helene, and ask them to list the ingredients of the excellent spontaneous feast we shared Friday. There was no change in our environment or foods that would trigger an allergic reaction. I have never had food allergies. 24 hours of benedryl did nothing to ease the swelling of my face, tongue and throat. I couldn't ignore it~ I headed for our primary care doc, grateful it didn't get bad enough for an ER visit.

There is a saying among physicians...something about when you hear hoof beats they are more likely horses than zebras. I have quite a few zebras in my health history.The discouraging series of events over the last couple of days has more details, and they do not belong here.

As fast as I can there will be more work. While I recover I have been using classmates.com to find old friends I left behind. I was not in touch, fearful that the lesbian thing was too much, fearing my "crash and burn" pattern would horrify someone. I have to say the process of letting people know what a difference they made in my life has been rewarding, I feel a bit redeemed each time I come across someone. It is making my little infirmity into grace, chasing wildflowers and old friends, finding both.